None of you do.Renée Zellweger with a burning passion for eight years only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon!Please pack up your knives and go.Marshall: Or we could just let him have this one.
Ted: I just want to hit that perfect middle ground.Are you kidding me?Marshall: I was just putting on a brave face.American sitcom, which aired on CBS.Desperatius sees woman who looks like Robin.It took me years before I was even able to look myself in the mirror for the way I let you down.Desperatius, there to pick off insecure bridesmaids.
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Barney: You are the weakest link, Goodbye.Jerry: Why does that make you so mad?Hey, looks like somebody got a new gig!Jerry: Barney, I know I screwed up.She told me she was in love with someone else.Barney: When I think about going for anything more than that, I look at my life and who I am.Ted, I just got to do this.
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Barney: You never called dibs.Ted: And this theory applies to everything?Ted: New is always better?Chevy website and copy down the adjectives?And you know what that means: the season of exposed skin is over, exactly!
Lily: You said that?Jerry: So, Saturday night?And what am I left with?Robin: Okay is not Lame.Marshall has arrived home from his job interview.
Scoundrel Ted: I know, right?Marshall: I just want to shut my eyes for a few seconds before it starts.Valentine performed them in secret, under threat of death.Lame was a gay bar.Robin: How about if we just go wildly to both extremes and let them balance each other out?Think he moved away.But first, a riddle.
Lily Aldrin, and their two friends Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky.Barney: Of course, of course.Barney: We should totally buy a bar!Robin: Good order, Ted!And I smell incredible!Ted: So, those new Star Wars movies.
Ted, the kids in that movie jumped into a painting and spent 15 minutes chasing a cartoon fox.An entire human life, and it just ends for no reason, and what are we left with?You must leave the chateau.Robin: Ew, Third Base is all frat guys.Marshall: We should absolutely, totally, buy a bar!
Marshall: Dude, none taken.Virtual Robin: Uh, it looks disgusting.How did we kick off 2011?When are you going to tell Marshall, and when are you coming back?Robin: So, when was the last time you saw him?Look at the sign.Lily: But designing a building in New York City is your lifelong dream.
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Desperatius and Ted as St.Ted: Hey, where are our chicken wings?My dad was my hero.Barney: Show me chicken wings!My mom got pretty upset he let me destroy a New York City landmark.Barney and Robin have just been summoned to the Natural History Museum security office for pulling off pranks.
Future Ted: And Robin would do all three of these before the day was out.Ted: OK, yeah I know.It took courage to send me that letter.Thanks a lot, God.Theodore, do not try to save the Arcadian.
Gone are the cute little skirts.Tails, you take the job at Worldwide News.Fifteen and still unmarried.Robin: Really, the only sensible idea right now.Ted: Limit the search to guys with mustaches.
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What do you mean?Ted and Barney are arguing over who will press the Arcadian detonator, and Robin will have none of it.College Marshall: Are you serious?Or twin girls, who speak in unison.Oh, sorry about that, buddy.Marshall: Um, those places shut down a long time ago.Just thought you should know that.
You whipped him off this Earth way too young!Because new is always better.Barney: I am not Barney!Scott: I think we should break up.Ted: Whoo, lighting change!Time to cut loose, right?Robin: No, Closed is closed.
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Obviously, it made me angry.Barney: So how do you do it?Marshall: How come the creepy kid in a horror movie is always a girl?Ted: We should buy a bar.Barney: Do you know what I had to go through to get you that job?
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North Pole for the next three months.Lily is great with child!The Captain: Once upon a time, Zoey and I were happy, blissful as Arcadian shepherds.Lily: What about Chucky?Ted, I glow in the dark.The Captain: Anyway, soon the inevitable happened.Ted: I really have to get this done.
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Barney: Ted, you are spitting on the grave of Sir Walter Dibs, inventor of the dib.Honey: I just had a great TV audition.Addiction got back together.Criminals of New York, attention!Cut to fantasy scene with Barney as St.Guys, we hate Kate Hudson.
Ted: Uh, Barney, you got a little marinara on your pajamas.Virtual Robin: More Cosmos?Lily: Are you kidding?And now, after five months of unemployment, I just blew my dream job.Well, he got out.
New Is Always Better.Zoey: Oh man, this movie is scary.Scylla and Charybdis could not have torn us asunder.Is this working for you?Lily: Guys, shut up.Anyway, your mom and I had such a great time seeing you.Marshall: How is this fair?
Robin: Okay is Lame?Ted Mosby is solid as a rock.Punchy, the tribe has spoken.Marshall: So Closed is open.Lily: Baby, come here.All: Okay is Lame!You have been eliminated from the race.
Lily: I thought Focus was closed.TV shows, when telling Ted that he needs to tell Punchy to leave.Ted: He just walked right out of the apartment.Sundress, by the way.Desperatius: And I thought Pompeii was smoking.Who is this Barney?
Jerry: Please, just come down and talk to me.Ted: Lily, do you have any idea how many people I blindly hated for you?Heads, you take the job at Worldwide News.Barney: This is mine.Is this working for you?Ted: Or we could stay on dry land, hang out with some witnesses?Or is that Wrong?
Death Star is pretty psyched to have that thing on his space resume.You should see the look on your face.Lily: You were right.Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher at Hogwarts.What are your plans for me?
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Marshall: For the record, um, I was in there once by accident.And weird survivalist uncle who lives in a cabin with a shotgun blaming stuff on the government.Barney out of this one when he gets back.Marshall: A, he was a doll.Put the pointy end into the grooves.Ted: Barney, what are you doing here?
Marshall: Yes, yes, of course, anything.Marshall goes to his bedroom and lies down.Barney: No, Was was Closed.All you ever talk about is having kids, and now you have one little freakout, you want to get a dog instead?Ted: I do not want to work for GNB again.Day itself, Desperation Day dates back thousands of years.We had great big boners for each other!
Marshall, can I ask for one final favor, my friend?Mary Poppins, if her magic purse was also full of drugs.My landlord even installed a security camera in my shower.You have Super Mario Kart!Robin: Holding the towel.Poseidon, she my Amphitrite.Ted consults Lily about what to do with his students after they walk out, thanks to Zoey convincing them that Ted is evil.
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Scott: Robin, the North Pole is a real place, you know that right?Lennie from Of Mice and Men?Jerry: I know, I know, I KNOW!Robin: Those rules are all stupid, okay?College Marshall: They did?
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Okay, get that camera out of my face before I flip you like a cheese omelet!Lily: What is that supposed to mean?Barney: Thank you Marshall.Thank You so much for the voicemail.Please come home soon.
Lame is a gay bar.The first three barely mention the intricacies of intergalactic trade law.New York, Ted, a sad day indeed.Does this have some sort of meaning?Marshall: Guys, just pick a club, okay?
You know what I saw on my way in here?Oh damn, that last bump just made me hit Send.Lily: Well guess what, I got some good news.Barney: Wear a wrinkled suit and not give a damn about what you hair looked like?What makes Goliath National Bank different from other big banks?
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Ted: Really, because it looks like my insane friend rented a costume and broke into my apartment in the middle of the night for what I wish was the first time.Chucky right before bed?Marshall: Oh No shut down too.You, Me and Dupree!Nora: I wanna get married.
Ted: And the, that was the last time you saw her.Honey: My apartment building is so safe.Marshall: Do you know what I had to do to will myself to show up everyday?Weddings were forbidden under ancient Roman law, so St.Your tour ends here.Once Was shut down, it reopened as Closed.
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Barney: And right by St.But we got this voicemail.Lily: I know, baby.Wheel of Fortune, naked push ups, naked chin ups.Ted and Robin discuss how to market him to a blind date.WWN Employee: You two know each other?
Was was where Wrong was, right?Are they just as good?Jerry: Barney, what is going on?Those are better than the old ones?Those guys are evil.Barney: No, Shut Up shut down.Marshall: Lily, this year, this nasty schoolyard bully of a year will not stop punching me in the face.
It was 1652, the SS Dibs was lost at sea.Robin: Not Where, Focus.Here at GNB, We Care.KFC where the executive producer works on the weekend.Rivers: Know each other?You gotta take me off the list, Barney.Marshall: Oh, oh, and ready?
OK, I get it.That Charity is doing Peachy.SERIOUS, GO GO GO!Barney: It was that day, July 23rd, 1981.Barney: JJ gets a childhood, a dad, a real family, and a basketball hoop?Who wants to split a beer?
Please, tell me what I can do!Barney: He never came around anymore after that.Barney: Eat this meatball sub.Yes yes, of course, of course.Robin: It means that a fertilized egg has not yet attached itself to the lining of your uterine wall.Marshall: Running the water.
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What lightweight outfit, pink or white, makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?That place is lame.Zoey: Well, Professor Mosby, is there anything you want to say to us?February 13th, Desperation Day.Ted: Oh, what was that?Your life in New York needs you, it needs you really bad.Ted: Dibs were implied!
But then, enter the scoundrel.Barney has just called dibs on a hot girl Ted asked him to make a short glance at.Actually, Barney did not need a win.Barney, you look real stupid in that suit.He must have figured out how to open it himself!